This story is laughable man.
So, one question remains to be answered: who debated Abraham Lincoln in 1858?
Was it?
d) 
a Douglas-fir tree
(Hints: Lincoln surely didn’t debate against a wonder boy, but his opponent was a white person.)
Ain’t there just something about the South? Can’t you feel it stronger in Mobile than just about anywhere else? I don’t know about y’all (hi mom!), but I can. Stopped to visit The Brand (Brandy and Brandon) at their sweet retro pad in that sleepy, seaside slice of Southern heaven pie called Mobile, Alabama.
Brand with his slavishly obedient doggy Jackson.
Inkpen with Brand’s reluctant-to-be-held pooch Jackson in The Brand’s awesome yard - that always makes me want to take a nap under a tree.
From the big chair in his basement, Brand teaches the whole world how to chill.
Inkpen on the front porch. “Song song of the South/sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth.”
A steaming hot plate of crawdads, AKA a nightmare in your mouth.
Brandy: As close to sexy as eating a crawdad gets.
A contemplative Brandon sucks the marrow out of (one of) the worst things in life.
Inkpen shows us how she really feels about crawdads!
Sisters-in-law.
Brandon holds Brandy as she begins to stress over Ink Pen and Sweet Bronco’s impending departure.
“You mean they won’t be at the house when we get home from work today?” she asks.
“You hit the nail on the head,” he says.
“We’ll see you for Thanksgiving,” Bronco says.
That ain’t gonna work because it’s far too long to spend apart!
“Try 4th of July, compadre,” Brandon suggests through a winning smile.
Brandy cheers up as we get closer to planning our next visit.
The Brand says 4 of J is, “all good.” Hey! Wait a minute. Where’s Inkpen????
Oh, there she is! Hey, it’s all good.
So, here’s a question you can think about for fifteen seconds and then forget: Why, with all of the money, experience and backing that comes with being a successful producer, with at least three feature comedies under his belt and a professional (although annoying) actress on board, would Judd Apatow come up with a short, amateur video that’s not that funny? I’m not saying Judd Apatow sucks. I’m not saying he’s overrated. I’m not even saying that movie goers are rapaciously feeding on B- caliber comedies these days and calling them great because there’s no actually-funny movies coming out. But, I am saying that he is responsible for the following video on Funny or Die, which kinda might be like saying the same thing.
I hate to be a hater, but seriously…that is the second most annoying thing that I’ve seen in my life. Like everything else Apatow does, it’s like a commercial for what’s already popular in Hollywood.
Sweet Bronco and Ink Pen took the long, flat I-10 through Arizona and West Texas. There were a few beautiful vistas, which you can see below. We were two of a very few non-trucker travelers going west by this route, which I thought was strange for a country with a population of 300,000,000 people and only a handful of east-west highways. We went through a Border Patrol stop when we got really close to Mexico, where we were asked a few questions about our trip by an intense-looking officer. It was interesting to be down in the thick of that part of the country. I’ve always thought of Texas as being flat land…not so.
The terrain. Beautiful. Deadly.
El Paso. Where we wanted to eat. Like most high-end Japanese steakhouses, closed for lunch. Boo.
El Paso. Where we ended up. Pukigans. I had a barf burger with extra bacon and chili fries.
More unvaried, beautiful west Texas terrain.
While I’m contemplating the end of an era, I just want to say goodbye to a few more things:
The building where Ink Pen and Sweet Bronco lived, wrote, slept…and…everything else.
The street where Ink Pen and Sweet Bronco lived.
One last shot with Bodhi on the front steps of the apartment building.
One last hug with Bodhi. Sweet Bronco takes a moment to explain to the little guy that goodbye is not always forever.
The hardest part about leaving Los Angeles, besides packing up everything we own and prepping my car for the drive, was saying goodbye to (some of) the people we knew and loved during our two years in that earthquake-prone city.
Sweet Bronco makes a stylish getaway from the baby blue car that he’ll never get over parting with.
Sweet Bronco pumps up ZZ Tootsis’ tires.
During our goodbye dinner at The Red Lion in Silverlake, Sweet Bronco uses hand gestures to express to Scott just how much he’s going to miss him. Scott seems to understand.
C & C are a special pair of sisters whom Sweet Bronco and Ink Pen love with our whole hearts and respect with our whole minds. Kapish the gravity of what Ink Pen is saying? They’re rad.
JJ is the meat in a Sweet Bronco/Ink Pen sandwich at Jones Italian restaurant in Hollywood. Many people have offered to pay SB-IP money for such an opportunity. JJ is a magnet for the good things in life.
C&C give it one last smile at Red lion in Silverlake.
We will all reunite one day on a sandy shore. Thanks for reading, readers.
Ink Pen (ME) and Sweet Bronco are moving from Los Angeles to Fort Lauderdale. Sweet! The first thing that you have to do to accomplish this Herculean task is to return to Los Angeles to pack up and sell your worldly possessions so that you can fit everything else into your awesome PT Cruiser. Sweet Bronco and I fly Delta to LA. Here’s how it goes down:
Get to the airport and be awesome so that the whole world notices how awesome it is that you’re there.
Cut the TSA line when you happen to arrive at the airport right after a large group of children embarking on an international field trip.
Go to Chilis, a restaurant where you’d never otherwise eat, during your layover because Checkers and Panda Express just aren’t going to work.
Get excited when the waitress brings you two oversized beers. Double fist them until your eyes cross.
Take ladylike sips of beer to throw off anyone who takes holding a beer in each hand to mean that you’re double fisting. Endeavor to actually make your connection flight.
Once on the plane, don’t reach across Sweet Bronco’s lap to steal a sip of Coke. If you do, don’t spill soda all over his pant leg.
If you do spill Coke on his pant leg, don’t laugh about it.
Cause that’s what makes Sweet Bronco angry.
And that’s the story of how Sweet Bronco and InkPen Shmee got to LA. Go Team Awesome!
To Be Continued…
Road Trip - LA to Fort Lauderdale
For those of you who read my blog (mom?) and don’t yet know what’s up with me, I’m about to move from Los Angeles to Fort Lauderdale - hilarious, what doesn’t Wikipedia have a page on? After almost two years of working and living and, occasionally, hiking in LA, I am finally ready to accept the fact that, at least for the time being, I belong in the South and on the East Coast. It’s a long, tough move and I’m not sure what exactly has been calling me home, but I’m looking forward to life in Fort Lauderdale. Over the next week, Sweet Bronco and I are going to drive across the country, once again, and we will post photos and comments about our experience right here on awesome Moodvane.
Ink Pen Shmee Cross-Country Drive Preparation Check:
Check. All systems go
Sweet Bronco Cross-Country Drive Preparation Check:
.
Roger that. All systems go.
The 33rd Street Wine Bar (which some may know by its former name Kala’s wine bar) is a hot spot for a professional crowd of smirking, wisecracking wine lovers who happen to be genuinely nice people, whether they’re slurring slightly or not. I took some fun pics of the lunch date auction at the “It’s Raining Men and Women Hallelujah!” fundraiser last Thursday night, April 24, 2008.
It’s rough to learn your true value. MC is Peter Smidt from Riverside Hotel.
33rd Street Wine Bar proprietor, Candace, draws big money.
The bidding got fierce over this one!
For some strange reason, this was my favorite piece of art.
I love an internet humor video as much as the next media zombie, but I hate it when the videos are this unfunny (and premeditated):
